A few years ago, one Saturday, I attended a Mindfulness workshop, sponsored by Elizabeth Seton Pediatric Center, my employer. I attended it as a professional, a speech-language pathologist and casually, as a mom. As a speech-language pathologist, I doubtfully looked forward to learning more about mindfulness practice, since there is evidence that it helps with stress management, attention, efficiency, self-control, and happiness. As a mom, I felt guilty that I was going to focus not on my child during my work-free day, but on having fun and relaxing with my coworker friends.
No more visitors in our empty, COVID-19 apartment, 2020
It turned out that the workshop changed my life significantly. Now, years after that, when we are prisoned at our houses due to COVID-19, I remind myself to practice all seven pillars to stay calm, happy, and thankful for what I keep receiving from life every day. I passed on that knowledge to my daughter and my husband as well.
Remote Learning, March 2020
Spring break, 2020
Remote Learning, April 2020
Remote Learning, May 2020
Back to heavy-duty masks, Fall 2020
I will list the pillars that form the core of mindfulness and share my reflections:
Non-judging
That sounds fairly easy. As an educator, I practice this every day with the families of my clients. I cannot possibly know or even understand what each caregiver and child experiences and how this affects the choices they make in their daily lives. My starring role is to support and navigate them towards their goals, not to make judgments about what they have accomplished.
Patience
Nowadays everyone needs to work on that one; especially when we are stacked in front of the computer for hours, losing an Internet connection, shooting technical difficulties, missing a zoom meeting, being kept on hold, dealing with household noise, smiling at the camera, and so on, so on. I still have to make more visible progress in that area.
Beginner’s mind
Iit is an attitude easy for me to nurture. I am curious about my work and my life and love discovering what each moment brings without preconception. I do find a miracle every day in many things.
Trust
This is tough; especially if it is related to my child's future education. Do I trust my mayor, my governor, the Department of Education? I am anxious about my daughter’s new high school, new admission criteria, whether she will get to a proper school. Nothing is certain these days, neither for me or my client’s families. Nevertheless, mindfulness, particularly our breathing, teaches us that after every inhale comes an exhale. I can trust in my breathing, and then in my desire for assisting children, and my sense of wonder, and the strength of our teamwork, and the love I have for my family and clients.
Non-striving
For the parents of children with special needs, not striving for better, most effective treatments and practices all the time is near impossible. But mindfulness reminds us to focus on every moment as it is, without always thinking about the next step. After all, even when my 13-year old daughter tells me that I’m wrong again or that I don’t know anything that she is doing at school, she is asserting me in her independence, something I dreamed about when she was small, all the way back when she was in the elementary school. I will not strive so hard to be needed for a lifetime.
Acceptance
Anything but accept a failer, a missed zoom meeting, hurt feelings, broken dish... Just to remember that tomorrow is another day, hopefully, a better one.
Letting go
This is the hardest part of the mindfulness training for me. Letting go of grief for a lost sister, a wave of anger for leaving the kids behind, bitterness, disappointment, and expectations are hard. It hurts because I hold onto them even though I know that if I cannot let them go I will not fully share this wonderful life with my family, incredible friends, or my patients. I just have to listen to the “Let It Go …” song and practice that skill more until I let the hardship finally go away.
Let it go
The snow glows white on the mountain tonight
Not a footprint to be seen
A kingdom of isolation and it looks like I'm the Queen
The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside
Couldn't keep it in; heaven knows I tried
Don't let them in
Don't let them see
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal
Don't feel
Don't let them know
Well, now they know
Let it go, let it go
Can't hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door
I don't care what they're going to say
Let the storm rage on
The cold never bothered me anyway
It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small
And the fears that once controlled me can't get to me at all
It's time to see what I can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong
No rules for me...I'm free
Let it go, let it go
I am one with the wind and sky
Let it go, let it go
You'll never see me cry
Here I stand and here I'll stay
Let the storm rage on
My power flurries through the air into the ground
My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around
And one thought crystallizes like an icy blast
I'm never going back
The past is in the past
Let it go, let it go
And I'll rise like the break of dawn
Let it go, let it go
That perfect girl is gone
Here I stand in the light of day
Let the storm rage on
The cold never bothered me anyway!
No comments:
Post a Comment