Back to School - Exited or Frightened?

The Red Mountains in Arizona, 2013

I have a 1^st grader and this is our story.

By the Baltic Sea, Gdansk, Poland, 2013

At the first week of the new school year, patiently waiting for a bell to ring, scrambled in a small school yard I found many kids smiling, laughing, hugging, jumping for joy or the one who were like my daughter, frowning, crying, hiding behind or pulling on my jacket. I couldn't believe my eyes. I didn't understand what had happened to my jolly girl.

Becoming a Junior Ranger in Grand Canyon, 2013

I knew the fact that going to school is usually a thrilling and enjoyable occurrence for many children but for some alarming and frightening.

With the cousins, Poland, 2013

I knew that refusal going to school often begins following a summer fun vacation, a relaxing holiday break, a period of staying at home due to brief illness.

MMI, Phoenix, Plying Theremin, 2013

I knew that it also may follow a stressful occurrence, such as a change in schools, or a move to a new neighborhood. It was not our case.

Science museum, Warsaw, Making fire, 2013

I knew that not wanting to go to school may occur at anytime, but is most common in children 5-7 and 11-14, times when children are dealing with the new challenges of elementary and middle school.

With the Grandparents, Poland, 2013

I also knew that some children may suffer from a paralyzing fear of leaving the safety of their parents and home, that they may complain of a headache, sore throat, stomachache or vomit shortly before it is time to leave for school, and that the symptoms subside after the child is allowed to stay home, only to reappear the next morning before school.

With the friends, Poland, 2013 

Knowing the facts, my daughter’s age and character I tried to prepare her for a shortly approaching school year. As a mindful parent and educator I went by the book and followed all the steps below:

• took time to get back to the routine,

• prepared for changes by announcing them gradually showing my excitement,

• engaged her in organizing the room, choosing own backpack and school equipment,

• organized a play date with the old school friends,

• walked to see the school building,

• read a letter from a new teacher,

• talked about feelings, fires and solutions,

• told stories about my experience when I was a child and the happy outcomes,

• read books about other children starting a school, moving to a new places, meeting new friends.

Swimming, Arizona, 2013

As a New Yorker I did it all in a super speedy way, shortening it to one weekend. Guess what? It didn't work. I learned the hard way. All the symptoms I've mentioned above I saw in my 6 year-old daughter.

At the Grand Canyon, 2013

What did I do wrong? - Time management. What did I learned? I learned that no mater what happens around us, we must give our child as much time as she/he needs for the good healthy transition. After tree weeks of school and three weeks from our arrival to NY we are slowly coming back on the truck.

Cooking, Poland, 2013