Especially with the young children you have to be very
sensitive, take time to get back to the routine, prepare the child for the new
chapter, engage the child in organizing the room, choosing the backpack or
school equipment, organize a play date with the old school friends, walk to see
the school building, read a letter from the new teacher, build the excitement,
tell stories about yourself, find good books about other kids staring the school,
talk about feelings, expectations, fires.
Grand Turk Island, 2013
Check some more specific steps how to reduce your child's anxiety and stress:
- Teach
to face the fear, rather then run away.
Let me Try, 2011
When we are afraid of situations
we avoid them. However, avoidance of anxiety-provoking situations maintains the
anxiety. Instead, if a child faces his or her fears, the child will learn that
the anxiety reduces naturally on its own over time. The body cannot remain
anxious for a very long period of time so there is a system in the body that
calms the body down. Usually your anxiety will reduce within 20-45 minutes if
you stay in the anxiety-provoking situation.
- Teach
that it’s fine not to be perfect.
Children Museum of Art, NY 2012
Often we feel that it is necessary
for our children to succeed in sport, school, and
performance situations. But sometimes we forget that kids need to be kids.
School becomes driven by grades, not by enjoyment of learning if an 85 is good,
but not good enough. This is not to say that striving is not important. It is
important to encourage your child to work hard but equally important to accept
and embrace your child's mistakes and imperfections.
- Teach
how to stay positive.
Happy Me, 2010
Many times anxious and stressed
children can get lost in negative thoughts and self-criticism. They may focus
on how the glass is half empty instead of half-full and worry about future events.
The more that you are able to focus on your child's positive attributes and the
good aspects of a situation, the more that it will remind your child to focus
on the positives.
- Teach to take time to relax.
Resting Time, 2010
Children need time to relax and be
kids. Unfortunately, sometimes even fun activities, like sports, can become more
about success than they are about fun. Instead, it is important to ensure
that your child engages in play purely for the sake of fun. This may include
scheduling time each day for your child to play with toys, play a game, play a
sport (without it being competitive), doing yoga, paint, have a tea party, put
on a play, or just be silly.
- Model
approach behavior, self-care, and positive thinking.
Performing, 2012
Your child will do what you do. So
if you avoid anxiety-provoking situations, so will your child. If you face your
fears, so will your child. If you take care of yourself and schedule time for
your own needs, your child will learn that self-care is an important part of
life. If you look for the positive in situations, so will your child. Children
learn behaviors from watching their parents. So when you think about your
child's psychological well-being think about your own as well.
- Always reward
for a brave behavior.
Niagara Falls, 2011
If your child faces his or her
fears, reward this with praise, a hug, or even something tangible like a
sticker or a small treat. This is not bribery if you establish this as a
motivator prior to your child being in the situation. If you reward behaviors
your child will engage in them more often.
- Teach good sleeping pattern.
Healthy Sleep, 2013
Set a bed time for your child and
stick to that bed time even on weekends. Also have a 30-45 minute bed
time routine that is done every night. This helps your child to
transition from the activities of the day to the relaxed state necessary to
fall asleep.
- Teach your child to express his/her anxiety.
"Angry Girl" by Basia P., 2012
Let's Talk, 2013
If your child says that he or she
is worried or scared, don't say "No you're not!" or "You're
fine." That doesn't help your child. Instead, it is likely to
make your child believe that you do not listen or do not understand
him/her. Instead, validate your child's experience by saying things like
"Yes, you seem scared. What are you worried about?" Then have a
discussion about your child's emotions and fears.
- Help
your child to solve a problem.
Vietnam, 2013
Once you have validated your
child's emotions and demonstrated that you understand your child's experience
and are listening to what your child has to say, help your child to problem
solve. This does not mean solving the problem for your child. It
means helping your child to identify possible solutions. If your child can
generate solutions, that is great. If not, generate some potential
solutions for your child and ask your child to pick the solution that he or she
thinks would work best.
- Stay
calm.
Science Museum, NY 2012
Children look to their parent to determine how
to react in situations. We've all seen a young child trip and fall and then
look to their parent to see how to react. If the parent seems concerned, the
child cries. This is because the child is looking to their parent for a signal
of how to react to the situation. Children of all ages pick up on their
parent's emotions and resonate with them. If you are anxious, your child will
pick up on that anxiety and experience an increase in his/her own
anxiety. So when you want to reduce your child's anxiety, you must manage
your own anxiety. This may mean deliberately slowing down your own speech,
taking a few deep breaths to relax, and working to ensure that your facial
expression conveys that you are calm.
- Teach your child relaxation exercises
Thailand, 2013
Sometimes really basic relaxation
exercises are necessary to help your child to reduce their stress and anxiety.
This might mean telling your child to take a few slow, deep breaths (and you
taking a few slow breaths with your child so your child can match your pace).
Or it might mean asking your child to image him or herself somewhere relaxing,
like the beach or relaxing in a backyard hammock. Ask your child to close
his/her eyes and imagine the sounds, smells, and sensations associated with the
image. For example, close your eyes and picture yourself on a beach. Listen to
the sound of the surf as the waves come in and go out. In and out. Listen
to the sound of the seagulls flying off in the distance. Now focus on the feel
of the warm sand beneath your fingers and the sun warming your skin. Your child
can do these techniques on his or her own during anxiety-provoking times.
- Never give up!
Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, 2013
Anxiety and stress can be a
chronic struggle and often the source of a child's anxiety changes over time so
it can feel as though you are always putting out fires. With repetition of the
anxiety and stress management techniques, your child will learn how to
lower his/her anxiety level and how to cope with anxiety-provoking situations.
The key is repetition so keep it up!
Thailand, 2013
Vietnam, 2013
Parents should be concerned and look for the professional
assistance if their child regularly complains about feeling sick or often asks
to stay home from school with minor physical complaints. In some cases the
child may simply refuse to leave the house. The child's panic and refusal to go
to school is very difficult for parents to cope with, but these fears and
behavior can be treated successfully, with professional help.
Resources:
Anxiety Disorders Association of America : www.adaa.org
OCD Foundation: www.ocfoundation.org
Child Anxiety Network: http://www.childanxiety.net/
As the best psychiatrist in Bhopal, I can only say that those seems to be effective ways to fight stress. Looking forward to more such blogs. Keep writing.
ReplyDelete